Being Tired is a Choice
Each day there are paths that lie before us; too often we choose the wrong one.
From the archives - originally posted 19/05/2023
Over the last few years, I've noticed a trend. I've felt it within myself, I've observed it with those around me, and I've been slowly coming to the conclusion that it affects people all across America and likely the world beyond.
I think people are choosing to be tired.
Ever since high school, my life has been changing; the faces I grew up with are being replaced with new ones, I’m spending my time in new ways, and even the pacing of life feels different.
Since my earliest years, I’ve had a deep love for video games. I cherish many fond memories of my sisters and I sitting around on summer mornings working through tough sections of games, Friday nights where the sun would rise and set again as my buddies and I competed with one another, and even just getting home from school and blissfully lazing away afternoons in some single-player narrative. I wouldn’t give those moments up for anything.
So while I've spent many years happily playing video games, I’ve found that my interests have been drifting as I grow up. With each year I was spending less time doing what I had loved, and instead seeking out new experiences and hobbies; I took a massive roadtrip with friends just after turning 18, and have been chasing every opportunity to travel since; between cycling, rock climbing, ultimate frisbee, disc golf and more, I find myself more active than I’ve ever been before; even the simple act of chatting with a friend over lunch has become far more important to me than video games.
Through all of this change, through all of these more mentally and physically demanding activities, I've noticed something: I still get tired. Whether it be mentally, socially, physically, or any combination, fatigue still sets in. But when I push through that initial feeling of exhaustion and partake in any number of these new hobbies, I find myself more energized than if I’d taken the day off. All of this has led me to believe that being tired is largely a state of mind we choose to dwell in, and you can find energy and inspiration in the act of doing.
Now it may be important at this point to preface the obvious: it's okay to rest. There are plenty of times when I've reached my limit and realize I need to rest, or else I'll be making myself and everyone else around me miserable in my exhaustion. Recently I spent a whole day lounging in bed reading, only ever getting up to switch laundry or find a snack. There's no point in hitting the wall and continuing to run into it, despite your body clearly telling you it’s time to slow down. But I think people are oftentimes misdiagnosing a sense of under stimulation and boredom as exhaustion. This leads to a cycle that's hard to escape from.
This cycle, as I've experienced it firsthand or otherwise, seems commonplace, at least in America. Someone might work an office job where they sit in front of a computer all day, working on unfulfilling projects that require little mental investment on their part. After a long day of sitting, responding to emails and scheduling meetings, they might arrive home and find the allure of the couch irresistible. This leads to whittling the afternoon away, scrolling endlessly on various apps and streaming platforms. Before any of us know it, it's dark out and time to get ready for bed, lest you arrive at work tomorrow even more tired. Thus the cycle repeats, day in and day out, until the weekend where some try to squeeze seven days of life into just two. Monday comes, the cycle repeats.
The exhaustion seems inescapable. I would argue, however, that there is an escape. Exhaustion begets exhaustion, and the key to beating it is discipline.
With discipline we gain the freedom to live a life that is rich and fulfilling every day, and with this fulfillment we become ever more energized.
Inspiration is a phenomenal thing. When it hits, it’s as though Zeus himself has granted you the power to sculpt the world into your masterpiece. But as any Greek tale would tell you, divine intervention is a rare and fleeting thing. The gods are capricious, and often unaware or disinterested in the wills of mere mortal men. If we as a species waited for a burst of inspiration to come, we wouldn't be nearly as far along as we are. Rome wasn't built in a day by heroic action, but through the ceaseless will and determination of generation after generation. With discipline and focus, obstacles that seem insurmountable can be overcome, one step at a time.
Look to those in society we admire: the musician who can bring you to tears with a note plucked just right, an athlete who pushes the limit of what humanity is capable of, the author who is able to transport you to another world with simple words on a page. These people haven't ascended to their place in the Pantheon of Mankind through the sporadic inspired moment, but rather through persistent and sustained effort. They wake up every day with a goal in mind and take one more step. That step itself may be small, but the totality of a career amounts to an Odyssey. I don't know many world-class athletes or artists, but I'd be willing to bet that these people are incredibly disciplined. I expect that they have days, weeks, and perhaps even months where they feel fatigued or lose interest in their craft.
But they keep their goal in mind and persevere, taking one more step toward their destination.
Since completing my undergraduate degree, I find myself back home, working the same job I've had for the last few summers. It isn't a job I particularly enjoy. The work isn't especially satisfying, and oftentimes I have to work with people I'd rather avoid. At the end of my shift, which occasionally manages to stretch eight hours into an eternity, I’ve often found myself yearning for my room. In it I have endless distractions to waste away the evening until it's finally time to end the day.
Instead, I try to guide myself towards something more fulfilling. I push myself to make plans with friends, or find some way to get outside and move my body. Maybe that means I take the dogs on a walk or take care of a chore around the house. I even find this blog to be an enriching use of my time.
As much as I may enjoy it, however, even writing can feel like a chore. I’ll put off working on a new piece, and instead spend some time on my phone. But I’ve often found it to be the case that once I sit down and start working, it's easy to continue. Not only is it easy, but I find it leaves me feeling more energized than if I had "vegged out.”
Through this work, through pursuing the goals I give myself, I find that life is more; More enriched, more fulfilling, more sustainable. Beyond that, I believe that with these goals and the discipline I've tried to drill into my head, I wake up each morning more energized than I was the day before.
I'm 22 now; not old, but older than I was at 16. I can't remember how each day felt back then, but I think on the whole I’m a more energetic person than I was in my teenage years. Really, I feel more energetic than I was even a year ago.
Lately, I've been choosing not to be tired; instead I’m choosing to be active, and through that activity energized.
These ideas have been rolling around in my head for a few months now - on walks with friends, through observations of the world, in my own introspection. On one of these walks, I remember my cousin pushing back. She had many good reasons that someone might be tired and need more rest than others. They may, for example, be afflicted with a serious condition that makes even mundane tasks like grocery shopping Herculean in their demands. I readily ceded to this point and agreed that she was right. There are plenty of good reasons to feel tired and in need of rest.
What I'm trying to say here isn't that it's wrong to be tired, to take a nap or even just spend an afternoon sprawled in front of the television. There's a time and place for everything. But rather, I’m trying to say that you have to decide what matters to you and push yourself to move in that direction.
Later on that same walk the conversation had wandered, and my cousin expressed her annoyance that people complain about their lack of time to read. She told me that people will go on and on about how they envy the amount of books she goes through, and how they wished they had time for it too.
Her frustration comes from the fact that these same people will spend hours a day on any number of social media apps - maybe not all at the same time, but scattered throughout the day in forgettable little chunks.
“If they just downloaded an ebook and read a few pages at a time instead of scrolling TikTok,” she said, “they would be reading just as much as I do.”
I told her that she just described the essence of my position.
Life is all about compromises and trade-offs. If you want to read, you have to figure out what you're willing to give up to do so. If you want to get in better shape, write that novel, develop a better social life, or really accomplish any goal you may have, you first need to decide if you're really tired.
I look to those I've met who seem to decide that once they reach a certain age they have to give up the things they love. Once they turn X years old it's time to give up on the adventures and spontaneity that filled their younger days with joy. They have to choose to be tired and resign themselves to something less than fulfillment for the rest of their days. I weep for those who think they must give up.
When I turn 23, I plan to be just as energetic as I was at 22. Because there's only one day separating those two ages. I look forward to the coming decades of my life; not with anxiety about change or the ways in which life may take a turn for the worst, but instead with hope because I'll have had so many more experiences, and will be able to find new reasons every day to push myself towards my goals.
If you've made it this far, I hope something I’ve said resonates with you. By no means was this intended to call anyone or any lifestyle out. Instead, I hope you ask yourself this question: “as I go to sleep tonight, can I look back at the day and feel satisfied, or do I just see myself settling for the easy option?" No matter your answer, I hope you'll wake up tomorrow and choose the life you want. It doesn't matter how small the step, as long as it's towards your goal.
I hope you'll wake up tomorrow and choose not to be tired.
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